Ladies: I feel as though I am two people. (Beware: very long, a serious read)?

I had posted a version of this question awhile ago while I was still a high school student, but now as I am a college student much has changed. Yet, at times I feel that rather than truly changing I have adopted two different personalities that at certain times clash. What I was before and what I am now is quite a dilemma. So my question is, how do you feel about me before, how do you feel about me now, and how do you think I should integrate my characteristics together? *[Info in brackets indicate me now]*



So, I've always been commented for the way I dress, my personality, intelligence, and so on but I've never really found that special person who can keep me interested. Sure people come and go, but there always seems to be a lack of that one girl that I can stick with.



If I had to classify myself I would say that I was somewhat ';metrosexual';, a bit of a nerd, ambitious, humorous but not a class clown, conservative morals.



';Metrosexual'; - So yes, I do care how my appearance and my hygiene quite a bit. I was raised in a traditional family so my dressing style has always been preppy, some would say classy, others would say on the verge of homosexual. I would say I dress between a mix of classic, traditional preppy and urban lifestyle preppy. By metrosexual I mean I do care about how I dress, how my hair looks, I use hair products, facial cleansers, cologne. I try my best to keep clean擨 am slightly a neat freak攁nd stay fresh, I follow a nutrition plan and work out at the gym. But I am not extreme, I do not get manicures and pedicures. I do occasionally pick up a copy of Men's Health, Gentlemen's Quarterly, or Vogue.



[The past year I have been slacking up much more in my dress code. Because of the college environment I often find myself dressed in sweat pants, a tee, and tennis shoes, but at the same time I continue to dress the way I did before. It troubles some of my friends as they wonder why the drastic difference from day to day and remind me that ';dressing up'; (which to me is not) is not normal in college. I feel as though I lose a part of myself and my integrity when I dress so poorly.]



Nerd %26amp; Ambitious - One of the most important goals of mine is to get into Harvard Medical School and become a cosmetic surgeon, followed by getting an MBA from Harvard Business School. I envision a life helping others and hopefully having time to spend some summers in 3rd world countries to donate money and participate in humanitarian aid groups. I am not ashamed of spending hours studying, volunteering, interning, but I know how to have fun, although I would prefer playing sports to binge drinking and random sex (although I've had my fair share of drinking games). [My goals stay the same, but being introduced to the college life as a Freshman I have turned much more into the party boy I did not envision myself as. I find myself going to the bars, frat parties, house parties, etc. on the weekends and occasionally Thursdays and Fridays. I have become much more social than before and have been encountering situations that come along with the active nightlife that I did not want to happen before. Regardless I am somewhat enjoying this new mixture of study and play. Unfortunately, at the same time it is taking away from my time to just have some ';me'; time or to participate in other activities.]



Humorous - I would say I am a light hearted humorous person but I am not the class clown and I can be serious but funny depending on the situation. [I have dramatic changed from being subtle in humour to being very outspoken in any situation and being a comedian when I can. Don't get me wrong, I do not act like an idiot, but I do bring the fun whenever I can. As before, I would be more or less on the sidelines.]



Conservative morals - I'm not the type of person who will get shitfaced the night before class nor am I into random hook ups. I am not attracted to ';hot'; girls but would rather use beautiful, pretty, or gorgeous, I don't know if this makes sense. My sense of fun is probably different from a lot of college students, I would rather go sailing, sitting by the fireplace, sitting on a train going through the fields of tuscany, visiting the luvre, or sitting down by the sand watching the sunset than to go to a party. [These morals have been troubling me lately. As mentioned I have been partying and going out and encountering everything that comes along with that. Essentially looking at this I have broken many of my morals, but emotionally now it is a mixture of liking what I am doing and yet wanting to stick to my beliefs.]



I appreciate nature, luxury cars, art, architecture, furniture (particularly victorian and french). I greatly enjoy cooking, a typical activity associated with women. I occupy a lot of my time playing sports and working out. I do enjoy simple things such as movies, hanging out here and there, going to the pool, whatever, but I prefer doing big exciting or adventurous activities. [AllLadies: I feel as though I am two people. (Beware: very long, a serious read)?
Going to college is a drastic change in environments and with that comes the need for adaptation. That doesn't mean you have to change who you are but chances are you will end up different in some way because of the experiences you have. As far as the dressing - If it's something you enjoy and value then you should continue to do so. You may find, however, that your values change. You seem like a very ambitious person and your goals are commendable but I feel like they need to be more focused. It is great that you want to go into surgery and business but have you thought about what that entails? You don't just become a surgeon, you have to do four years of medical school followed by at least four more years of residency and specialization. When you become a doctor, especially a surgeon, you commit your life to it. I'm not saying your ambitions are impossible, I just hope you know what you are getting into. And the drinking and partying, I also fell into that scene when I first got to school. It is something that, in high school, I never envisioned myself in. But it is an experience nonetheless and it's fine that you are having fun and becoming more outgoing. College is a time to find yourself and even redefine yourself into the person you want to be. Almost everyone goes through periods in their life where they lose faith or change their beliefs in something. Drinking and partying in college is almost like a right of passage, but as long as you don't get too crazy with it and don't lose sight of your goals it's not a big deal.

You may feel like you are two different people at the moment, but you are really just in a transitional phase of your life. And hopefully you will come out of it heading in the right direction. Best of luck.Ladies: I feel as though I am two people. (Beware: very long, a serious read)?
I couldn't finishing reading it man, sorry.
You sound nice :)

It's just the environment you're in that shapes/affect you in some way.

You might want to take a step back, consolidate your thoughts, think about what you want yourself to be before getting overwhelmed by things you find is against your morals.
i think this is more of a discussion you need to have with someone than a question someone can answer. i didnt finish reading it all but just enjoy being your own person. you can be two ppl if you want, nothings wrong with two personalites