My mom wants to pick her own dress for our wedding?

My mom went with me when I looked for my wedding dress. I ended up finding the dress I want and she put the 50% deposit down for me. Well, our wedding is in early November and she wants to wear a shorter cocktail-style dress. All of the other women in my family and my husband-to-be's will be wearing floor-length dresses, as we are having a black-tie ceremony and reception. How can I convince her that this is my day to stand out and get her to pick a longer dress? By the way, she is a pretty woman and looks fine in any type of dress, I just feel like she wants to stand out on the day that is supposed to be about my husband-to-be and me.


Note: I am not the type to have things be about me, I just want her to fit in with the rest of my family (my sister and my brother's wife -both her kids also) and also my future in-laws (mom and grandma).


**Oh and also, my fiance and I are paying for our wedding on our own.My mom wants to pick her own dress for our wedding?
Hmm... to be honest, I don't think it matters who is paying for the wedding. I'm sure she's paying for her own dress so as long as it's appropriate she should be able to wear what she wants (cause SHE IS the one wearing it!). I'm sure there are plenty of shorter dresses that will fit your formal theme fine. Why not make it another fun girls day out for dress shopping and let her get something she likes? Find something she wants that will also be formal, don't stress over something so small! Good luck!My mom wants to pick her own dress for our wedding?
Shorter dresses are considered semi-formal and aren't appropriate for a black-tie wedding. Send her this link :)
She needs to be at least the bridesmaids' level of formality. If they are wearing floor length, she too must wear floor length. She will stick out if she doesn't.





Just tell her you think it is inappropriate for her to wear a shorter dress because it's not formal enough. If she wants to stand out, help her pick out a stunning floor length gown...let her have a small train even :)
I think she is a grown woman and gets to wear whatever she wants....
Unless the wedding is taking place after 7PM it is informal no matter what color the ties are. Why don't you see if you can compromise. You pick several dresses in Waltz length or longer and ask her to choose. It would not be appropriate for her to appear in a ';cocktail'; length dress at your wedding no matter what time of day as she is now officially a ';Matron'; and is expected to dress like one at least on that day.
Well, the Mom does get to pick her own dress, she does not have to coordinate with the bridal party. She is the Mom of the bride, and the next most important person at the wedding, after the bride and groom.


Technically, the only person she owes anything to is the mother of the groom, and that is a phone call, to tell her what she will be wearing, so both do not wear the same dress, or clash in the pictures.


So as the mother of the bride she can stand out all she wants.


She put down the deposit on your dress, smile, say thanks, mention by name who SAYS they will be wearing a long dress, and leave it alone. And give her a big kiss for being so pretty, and making sure you have a pretty dress on your day. and buy her beautiful guest of honor flowers.


Honey, your Mom is not competition with you, just taking what is hers by right and due.


Now if her dress is white, that is another matter, she should not look bridal at anybody else's wedding.


And I looked up the definition of black tie in about fashion .com, and it says women may wear a long dress or a short cocktail dress or a pants set.


White tie is the ultra formal dress for men, and means the lady wears a long dress.


Your Mom is right, by etiquette rules, she can wear a short dress.
She can wear whatever she wants, she doesn't need to coordinate with anybody else. Maybe her legs are one of the last body parts she's comfortable with (for many women like me it's our cleavage!) and she wants to look pretty. If she lets you go shopping with her, do that, otherwise just make sure she's clear that the others will be wearing long dresses so she doesn't get caught off guard.
Let your mother wear whatever she wants, really your the bride and he's the groom you will be standing out no oone will take the spotlight for you maybe your mom doesnt like long dresses. Is like the show what not to wear when the bride mother in law to be wore a red dress and the wedding color were black and silver with white on new years LOL! she was upset but got over it and realized she was the bride and no matter what she stood out.
Your mother CAN wear a cocktail length dress to your wedding Hon, the only time floor length is required is white tie or very, very formal white tie %26amp; tails..and I don't think you're having that formal a 'to-do'......


...and rest asured, there will be quests wearing shorter dresses....she doen't hafta 'conform' to a certain length to 'match' her daughter, daughter in law, and the in-laws.....


...and someone wearing a shorter dress will not take any attention away from you, which is what this is really about.


Good Luck.
Don't worry, no matter how she's dressed YOU will be the star of the show. Help her pick out a more subdued shorter dress maybe, and stop worrying. If she likes it and looks classy in it then she should WEAR it.... This is a big day for her too you know... And maybe she doesn want to look and feel Matronly... maybe she just wants to feel beautiful, you should be supportive, its not the dresses that matter on a wedding day.
you're right, black tie events should be floor length.


she may stand out if she wears a cocktail dress, but in my opinion it wouldn't be in a good way. She will look underdressed and inappropriate, not stunning. So don't worry abt her outshining you.
Does it really matter how long her dress is? You are still going to get married no matter what she is wearing and no matter who says it's inappropriate.





Sometimes I think etiquette goes to far. Put your priorities in order and pick your battles, this isn't one of them. Let her choose and move on to the next crisis I am sure there are more important things for you to worry about, and in the end nothing matter except exchanging vows with the one you love!
OMG your mum wants to choose her own dress???? the nerve of the woman, thinking she has the right to wear what she wants! honestly how do you put up with such nonsense!


it is not up to the bride to decide who wears what outside of the wedding party. let it go. she will either change her mind and find something else to wear or she won't. either way it isn't your problem.


btw you do want to be the center of attention otherwise you wouldn't be worrying about the length of your pretty mum's dress! grow up sweetie, this is such a minor issue that it isn't even worth worrying about!


and it doesn't matter whose paying for your wedding as far as this particular issue goes.
Explain that everyone is wearing long formal dresses and you would really appreciate if she would do the same. I can suggest some really good websites that she can see beautiful long MOB gowns that are chic and elegant. moncheribridals.com, alfredangelo.com, rinadimontella.com, netbride.com, nordstroms.com, dillards.com. motherofthebridedresses.biz, theeveningstore.com. The MOBdresses.biz website has every designer and the dresses are gorgeous. Show her these dresses, and maybe she will change her mind. Tell her that she will look stunning with a long gown with her beautiful figure and be the belle of the ball. I think she will change her mind after she sees these gowns.
She is a grown woman, and as long as she knows that the other women are wearing long dresses, she can make her own decision - it is her right to choose her own dress, just like you choose yours. She'll be fine %26amp; it will not ruin your wedding or anything. So relax and let the poor woman be
My mom is wearing a short cocktail dress...it cost the same as my gown...in the end I wouldn't be here without her and if anyone should look as good as I do that day it's my mother.


Who cares who's paying?!


I just want her to feel awesome that day, maybe a long dress would make her uncomfortable.


Seems a bit low on the priority list.