Sunday, November 21, 2010

How do I get my mind right when I'm in a bar so I can compete with taller men or just get over it?

I'm about five foot six inches - pretty short for a guy. I consider myself however to have good dressing style and a cute face (I've been told so on many occasions), and for my size I got a nice body, however I'm short. The problem is at bars, I don't even really feel like getting off the stools and going to other groups and meeting people cause I feel so short. I'd like to get over this, and feel attractive at the same time (which is how I feel when the place ain't so packed. I wanna walk freely and talk to whoever, yet feel I am constantly being judged and compared. I wanna get this out my head, and I know its possible cause I've seen other short dudes who just don't care and go wherever. Like what kind of mind state, what do I tell myself, waht should I learn to believe so I can just mingle like I wanna? Sorry for makin this so long, but your opinions really countHow do I get my mind right when I'm in a bar so I can compete with taller men or just get over it?
You simply have to convince yourself of the truth - some women aren't interested in tall guys.



It may help to approach the issue from the other angle. My best friend, for example, has no interest whatsoever in tall women, while I tend to prefer them. And if such things are true for men, there's no reason why they can't be true for women also, neh? And you will never know which women feel this way until you talk to them!



I suspect you're also putting too much pressure on yourself to perform, and that's making the situation worse. Don't go to bars for the purpose of picking up girls - make that your secondary goal. Instead, go there to meet people and have fun. Women will see that you're a guy to have fun with and will appreciate that too, right? Further, even if you meet someone who isn't interested in you because you're short, you will still have met someone and the evening will be success.



You never know - maybe she has a friend who likes short guys too!How do I get my mind right when I'm in a bar so I can compete with taller men or just get over it?
you think YOU have problems! I'm 5'1';! I've accepted my height tho and am proud of it now
Yeah, tall guys are more noticed but to be honest w/you females who are shorter like 5'2 like to cuddle w/guys who are closer to their height. We spoon better.

Look, your not going to get taller so be yourself and enjoy what you are and forget the things you aren't.
Stop relying on the physical characteristics and realize what is more important to most females. Good conversationist )mixed with humor), pleasant personality and a good dose of confidence.
Think of it this way. The average woman is abour 5'4 so they are going to be just as short. Don't let the taller guys scare you off. If your cute then there is going to be someone out there attracted to you. Of course theyw ill never notice you if you are sitting at the bar all night. Get over it. Your short, its not going to change. I'm a girl who is 5'9. I hate being one of the tallest girls in the room but so is life. Short or tall, we are all someones type. Go out there and get em.
Rest easy! This is all about mind set, you and you alone focus on your size. Just think for a minute, how many people do you really think are worried about you and your size or anything else? You think about it till is it bigger than you, in every respect.

I once dated a guy who would not go on the dance floor and dance. I asked why? He said because people will be looking at me, they might think I look funny. I pointed to the dance floor and said these people are here having a good time, not worrying about you. You are the only person worrying about you and and you are worrying needlessly, to the point your not even having a good time.

We and our minds are our own worst enemies. So go out and have some fun. I bet you nobody is thinking the things you are and certainly not to the extent you are!
I'm 5' 10 1/2 so you can imagine, for a girl living in Ireland where most guys are, on average smaller than me, i've had many's a conversation with many's a guy who felt insecure or inadequate about his height. I like tall guys, I won't lie to you, but that says more about my insecurities than theirs. I will say this though, I have gone out with many gys much shorter than me and the reason is because they exuded such self confidence that it becomes infectiious. These guys were comfortable in their own skin and literally 'walked tall'. People only really notice height if you make it an issue. It's noticed if you try to make yourself unnoticeable or small, just as it's noticed if you carry yourself well. People don' t carry a mental tape measure, but they do carry a mental assessment as to whetheror not you're NOTICEABLE. There's a subtle difference. Even from your question i can tell you're intelligent, sensitive, good at English, a good communicator, an all-round nice guy, with maybe just a touch of insecurity about physical height. Trust me you have sooo much going for you the girls will not be disappointed. Believe in yourself and others will not judge you on stature alone. I like the way you choose to describe yourself as 'short' and not 'small'.You should see yourself as a man first and a measurement last. You're doing just fine and keep being yourself. You sound lovely !! XOX

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